Handling Criticism Without Hating Your Critics

"But it came to pass, that when Sanballat heard that we builded the wall, he was wroth, and took great indignation, and mocked the Jews. And he spake before his brethren and the army of Samaria, and said, What do these feeble Jews? will they fortify themselves? will they sacrifice? will they make an end in a day? … Nevertheless we made our prayer unto our God, and set a watch against them day and night, because of them.” - Nehemiah 4:1-6

Leadership inevitably attracts criticism. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. Nehemiah’s example shows us that even a God-appointed vision will face human opposition. Criticism is often the tax we pay for influence, but how we respond determines whether it becomes a stumbling block or a stepping stone.

Warren Wiersbe once said, "You can’t be a leader without a target on your back, and you can’t have a target on your back without arrows flying your way."

Scripture offers five biblical principles that help spiritual leaders handle criticism without losing heart or direction.

I. Expect It Without Being Derailed by It

Nehemiah 4:1-3; John 15:20

Nehemiah faced ridicule before he even reached the halfway mark. Jesus Himself warned His disciples: “If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you” (John 15:20).

The presence of criticism often means you’re advancing God’s work. Criticism is usually the background noise of progress; don’t confuse it with the voice of God. Paul warns spiritual leaders: “Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.” (2 Tim. 3:12)

Charles Spurgeon noted, “A kick from a mule hurts, but it is a mule that gives it.” In other words: consider the source!

II. Evaluate It Honestly Without Reacting Emotionally

Proverbs 18:13; Ecclesiastes 7:5

Nehemiah didn’t lash back in the heat of the moment. He assessed the nature of the criticism and who was delivering it. Leaders must separate personal attacks from constructive counsel. You cannot lead effectively if you are emotionally enslaved to the approval or disapproval of others.

Proverbs 18:13 reminds us: “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” Theodore Roosevelt said, “It is not the critic who counts… the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.”

Many times, critics are like armchair quarterbacks: Unengaged, unhealthy, and unrelenting in their criticism, but not engaged at all in the work! Do not let your spiritual and emotional health hinge on unengaged critics.

III. Take It to God Before You Take It to Others

Nehemiah 4:4-5; Psalm 55:22

Nehemiah’s first instinct was not to convene a strategy meeting or launch a counterattack; it was to pray. Prayer reframes the criticism in the light of God’s sovereignty and your calling. Prayer moves the leader from the critic’s opinion to the Creator’s perspective.

In 1 Peter 5:7, Peter admonishes shepherds: “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

Oswald Chambers wrote, “We tend to pray as a last resort, but God wants us to come to Him first.”

IV. Stay Focused on the Mission, Not the Distraction

Nehemiah 4:6; Philippians 3:13-14

Instead of pausing the work to defend himself, Nehemiah kept building: “So built we the wall… for the people had a mind to work.”

The best answer to unfair criticism is often the consistent completion of your God-given assignment. When you stop to throw stones at every barking dog, you’ll never reach your destination.

Galatians 6:9 reminds us: “Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

V. Guard Your Spirit from Bitterness and Retaliation

Ephesians 4:31-32; Romans 12:17-21

The danger of criticism is not just the pain it causes but the poison it can leave behind. Nehemiah did not allow the taunts to sour his spirit. Biblical leaders choose forgiveness over festering. Bitterness is the unpaid invoice of criticism; if you don’t forgive, you will pay with your peace. The Apostle Paul was wronged by many, yet by faith he wrote: “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Rom. 12:21)

Corrie Ten Boom wrote, “Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate.”

Do not minister in a prison of your own making, release those who have hurt you, and press on for Jesus’ sake!

Criticism will either cripple your leadership or clarify your calling. Nehemiah teaches us to expect it, evaluate it, pray over it, stay focused, and guard our hearts. If you stop building every time someone starts talking, the wall will never be finished; and neither will your calling. Stay tough and tender and finish your race well for the glory of Jesus!