The Myth of Arrival

"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” - Psalm 139:23-24

A few weeks back, I was on a missions trip in the 10/40 window. The trip was a whirlwind flight from Atlanta that included internal flights and long commutes in the car. On one of the flights was one that just seemed to be taking forever. I finally fell asleep 5 hours into the flight and woke up when he hit some turbulence. I immediately thought in my mind: FINALLY! We made it! Only to hear the captain’s voice come over the loudspeaker to remind us to stay buckled up. I turned on the screen in front of me and saw that we still had four hours left in the journey! I had slept for one hour! Not only had we not arrived, but we had a long way to go still!

One of the most dangerous assumptions in Christian leadership is the myth of arrival—the idea that maturity equals mastery over the inner life. But spiritual maturity is not a destination—it’s a journey of surrender. The more we grow, the more we see the subtle and deep places where the Holy Spirit still needs to transform us.

A. W. Tozer once said, “We must not think of the spiritual life as a once-done act, but as a life-long walk with God, in which we are ever learning, ever growing, ever being changed.”Leaders must not only lead others but also allow God to lead them into the hard-to-reach places—the hidden attitudes, deep assumptions, and unexamined motivations that need transforming grace.

Five Areas Mature Believers Still Need Change

I. The Attitude of Entitlement Must Be Exchanged for Humility

Philippians 2:5 – “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.”

Mature believers can develop a subtle belief that because of their years of service or sacrifice, they deserve ease, honor, or influence. Entitlement creeps in quietly, especially in leaders. The Pharisees believed their years of obedience gave them the right to sit in the chief seats. Jesus exposed this by washing feet—doing what was beneath them.

“Pride is your greatest enemy, humility your greatest friend.” - John Stott

Do I expect people to serve me more than I am willing to serve them?

II. The Urge to Control Must Be Replaced with Trust in God

Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart…lean not unto thine own understanding.”

The longer we lead, the more tempted we are to lean on experience rather than dependence on the Spirit. We stop praying because we start presuming. Moses struck the rock instead of speaking to it, because his frustration and familiarity overrode God's fresh instruction (Numbers 20:8-11).

“A Christian life that is not lived in the power of the Spirit is a mere shadow of what it ought to be.” - Watchman Nee

Where am I depending on planning more than prayer?

III. The Hidden Bitterness Must Be Replaced with Forgiveness

Hebrews 12:15 – “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you…”

Mature Christians often carry old wounds that have not been processed. Leaders carry betrayal, criticism, or disappointments silently. But what is buried alive still grows. Like carrying a backpack of stones—we keep adding weight, unaware of the long-term damage.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” - Lewis Smedes

Whose voice from the past still echoes louder than God’s voice in my heart?

IV. The Lust for Applause Must Be Traded for the Audience of One

Galatians 1:10 – “For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men?...”

Spiritual leaders can become addicted to affirmation. Success, likes, invitations, and compliments can become our emotional diet, and we stop noticing our soul is starving.

Saul lost his kingdom because he feared the people’s opinion more than God’s instruction (1 Samuel 15:24).

“The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him.” - Os Guiness

Would I still serve with joy if no one noticed?

V. The Fear of Obscurity Must Be Replaced with Faithful Obedience

Colossians 3:23 – “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.”

Mature believers may fear becoming irrelevant or forgotten. The temptation to chase visibility or legacy can eclipse our passion for obedience in the small, unseen things.

Jeremiah preached for decades with little visible fruit. Yet he remained faithful—not to results, but to God’s call.

“The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.” - Elisabeth Elliot

Am I serving for fruit or simply out of faithfulness? Psalm 139:23-24 is not a prayer of the immature—it’s the courageous cry of the spiritually honest. Ask God to reveal the corners of your heart that have grown calloused or ignored.“Search me…try me…see me…lead me.”

Take time each week—or even set aside an annual retreat—to examine your own heart before the Lord. Don’t try to do this alone; invite a trusted mentor into the process and ask them, “Where do you think I may have grown blind?” Consider fasting from praise or stepping away from social media for a week to reset your motivations and refocus on God’s approval rather than people’s. Finally, keep a private journal titled, “Change in the Hard-to-Reach Places”, where you can record what God is revealing and pray through the areas where He is refining you.